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| Spring had arrived and with the flowers comes what us Portlanders call 'sun breaks'. Here's hoping for many more between now & the 4th of July (that's when our summer actually begins) |
To refresh your memory, here's a link to the post where I discuss what I hoped to get out of the 30 for 30 and why I was doing it. Now let's look at some of the things I am taking away from the challenge and some thoughts I had about myself.
Lessons I’ve learned in the 30 for 30
- I think the 30 for 30 did help me figure out some of my preferences as you will see below, but I feel like I have more to learn in this department. Perhaps with the Spring or Summer remix challenge?
- I feel like I did an okay job with posting since this was my first 30 for 30 and the beginning of my blog. However, I have realized that I will want to do a bit more planning around posts, like having some things ready for posting when really busy or really sick so that I do not have such a long break in between posts! Regardless, I feel the Remix served its purpose by giving me the chance to get my feet wet with blogging.
- I definitely feel like I pushed some of my clothing limits a bit and gained in confidence. This very well may be my most valuable take away and exactly what I was hoping for!
- Another valuable take away is that I do well with a little bit of structure. I already know that too much structure can be a bad thing for me, but now that I think about it (and I've been removed from some of those toxic situations for a while) it was really too much structure that was designed by someone else! The 30 for 30 gave me a structure to work in that made my closet seem much less overwhelming, but I picked the clothes, so I had buy-in. I noticed the structure thing the week after the 30 for 30, well the first week after that I wasn't sick, when I was feeling overwhelmed by having my entire closet to chose from! I may create some self-imposed style structures going forward like picking something to wear each week that I might not normally wear. You know, one of those items that I loved when I bought it, but either didn't have something to go with it or I've been too chicken to try and pull it off?
- Okay, I guess I have several valuable lessons, because here's another. It become glaringly apparent that I still have some self-esteem issues around my image/looks lingering. More so than I thought. I feel like by the end of college I came to a place where I learned to love my body and the way I look and that any remaining self-esteem issues were around other things; not my body image. However, I had issues during the 30 for 30 that I never expected. Having my picture taken. Or rather posting my photos online for the world to see. I was judging myself (eyes always closed, double chin even though I am slender) and the photos (basement light is horrible) much more than normal. I have never really been someone who didn't want their picture taken, so this was new to me. Or a new side of old issues. I obviously have some remaining self-esteem issues or my style (or non-style) wouldn't be a touchstone. I just never expected photos to be an issue. This was a good lesson as it really brought home the need to not compare myself to others, or compare my photos to other bloggers etc. The photos were a tool for my blog and my learning process. In this case, they ended up helping me learn about myself in multiple ways.
- I do not like being stereotyped. I want to dress up and wear makeup one day and bum in a t-shirt and jeans the next. I want to dress how I feel on any given day.
- That said, I do not have to look like a bum when I decide to bum in t-shirts and jeans. I feel better about myself when I put in a little effort. Accessories have proved their point!
- Speaking of accessories ... I love scarfs! And hats! This challenge forced me to use many more of my accessories than normal, jewelry included. I tend to stick with favorites quite often, mostly out of sheer laziness or fear, so this was great for getting me out of a rut.
- I love color, just like my dad. And weird/fun socks like he loved weird/fun ties when he was a professor. J
- I never wear heels, especially in winter, except for very special occasions or if I am working a very corporate event/job. Even though I love the heels that I picked for the 30 for 30 I never wore them. The fact remains that they are still heels and I do not love heels. Neither do my feet and back. I especially do not like heels in the cold wet winters here in Portland. My tootsies prefer to be comfy and warm.
- Warmth and comfort are of the utmost importance. I already knew this, but I learned to have some style mixed in with my warmth and comfort, which is exactly what I was hoping!
- I LOVE my cowgirl boots. Thanks Christine for convincing me to add them to the mix! They surprising go with many things.
- I love red shoes, but do not love the red shoes I wore in the 30 for 30. I am not sure if it is the square toe box or what, but they bend a little weird at the break when walking and eventually bug me. They are leather and were a screaming good thrift deal, but I need comfort when it comes to my feet. So a good deal that bothers my feet is not a good deal in the end. I will be on the lookout for another pair of comfy red leather flats for sure.
I’ve discovered recently that I have a deep fear of making mistakes, so much so that I’m discovering that I am actually a closet perfectionist. A perfectionist is a word I have never used to describe myself. At 35, I feel like I know myself pretty well. I’ve been on the road to self-discovery since middle school, but I am still learning new things everyday. That's good, as it shows that I'm still living and growing.
The 30 for 30 and the Mountaineering First-Aid class together helped me realize that I am more risk-adverse than I thought AND more importantly, more risk adverse than I would like to be. I do not need to be some crazy thrill seeker with a reckless streak, but I do know that the times I have taken risks and pushed myself are also the times I have reaped the most rewards. Boarding a plane for the first time, alone at the age of 12, going from SC to NYC, to spend my first of many summers in the Hamptons with my aunt and cousins. While there eating sushi and sashimi for the first time, among many other food firsts. Trying out for the school play in 10th grade as a new student and an introvert! Going to the Institute of Integrative Nutrition, leaving corporate America, getting Laughter Yoga training. So I think this year I am going to work on getting out of my comfort zone even more than usual. I am ready for some accelerated growth!
If you did the 30 for 30, what was something you learned? If you are struggling with self-acceptance, whether around your body, your style or something else, feel free to share some of your thoughts or experiences. Stay tuned for a recap of my favorite outfits from my shortened 30 outfits and some thoughts about my recent training and experience with EFT.
Well, thankfully you DID try out for the play in 10th grade!
ReplyDeleteI think that accepting ourselves really is a lifelong process. And I think there's a weird paradox of being aware that this is something women wrestle with--overall I think it's good that we know that this is something many of us struggle with, but I think it can also set us up from a young age to think that there's a certain point we'll get to at which we'll just adore ourselves. Like, I remember being 15 and thinking that I was so much more accepting of my body than I was at 13! And same at 21 of 15, and 28 of 21, and now of 28. It's a process.
You know, if you benefit from structure and are also concerned about planning for future posts, maybe coming up with a sort of blog calendar would be helpful? Just deciding to do a weekly links roundup on Fridays was helpful to me--gave me a bit of structure that I've implemented elsewhere on the blog, though not strictly.
Glad you are feeling better!